Saturday, August 28, 2010

living in the gray

I think as humans we like things black and white, right and wrong, cold or hot. We don't like the gray, situational ethics, or things that are lukewarm. We like it when things are spelled out for us. We like to know whether we are "in" or "out." Are we "right" with God or not? But, in my opinion, that is the "carnal" way to live for God. It is "following after the flesh" (Romans 6). It is trusting in our own abilities and our senses to guide us. It is the way of the world. It is the way of the Pharisees. Pharisees were experts at drawing lines and making rules plain and understandable (even if noone could actually live by all  of them) It is comforting to "know." It is, after all, only human. Yet Jesus calls us to leave behind what we "know" to follow Him. He tells us that if we follow him, we may not know where our next meal is coming from, or where we are going to lay our heads tonight. He calls us to leave our homeland to go to a place that He has only promised us, and He doesn't give us a map or tell us the way. He only says to follow Him. He calls us to "live by faith" and not by sight. But we want to live by sight. How else will we "know?" That's the point. Faith is about trusting, not about "knowing." As I have learned from the teaching staff at Blackhawk Church, grace is messy. Life in the Spirit is scary at times because we don't know what is going to happen next. But we don't trust God because we know what His next move is going to be, or because he has given us formulas to live by--that always produce expected results--but because He is God, and we believe Him. We believe that He loves us. We trust Him. Fundamentalist churches that teach us how to live, and tell us where to go and where not to go are attractive to us because we crave direction. We want to know that we are on the right path. We need guidelines. But life in the Spirit is about trusting God to lead. Jesus said the only "rules" we really need are to love God with all our being and our neighbor as ourselves. We get uncomfortable with that because that isn't clear. It's gray. So we go to the Old Testament--the Law--to help us understand what He meant. We run from the gray--and in so doing we run from trusting God, I think. The answers are there in the OT, but they aren't in understanding how to live by the Law. Paul said those who live by the law will be condemned by it. Life in the Spirit--a life of grace--is what we are called to. It is a life of trust--with only a lamp to guide our feet. A life of living by the law, by rules, by always having to "know" is a life of fear because we always fail. And we are never sure if we have done enough, if we have repented adequately, if we have prayed enough to "get right" with God, if we have truly "overcome" our flesh. It is a life of toil and weariness. Living in the Spirit, in grace, in the gray, by faith may be scary, but it is not fearful. It is freeing, exciting and refreshing. It's not easy, and it is not trouble free, but it is the life we are called to. And it is the life where we find rest. Do you enjoy the comfort of the boat--its sturdiness, its tangibility--too much to let go and step out into the deep with only Jesus to hold you up? My flesh does. But my spirit longs to be with Jesus. If I want to be with Him, I have to let go of what I know, of the things that are sure, and simply trust Him. That is life in the Spirit. That is living in the gray. What do you think? I'd love to hear from you.

5 comments:

  1. Excellent article, Jon and I can totally relate. Many of us want to be in that place of totally trusting God, but many allow fear to keep that from happening. In order to totally trust God with out life, we have to be willing to "die" out COMPLETELY to self. Many fear "death". You can read more of my thoughts that can sort of go along with this at http://conniesdevotionals.blogspot.com/2009/03/afraid-to-die.html

    Connie Schmoll

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  2. Thanks for showing me your blog, John. My views regarding the efficacy of the OT as a foundation for a religion have evolved considerably. However, your positive attitude is uplifting.

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  3. Kenny, I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on what the OT has to say about salvation--eternity, heaven, etc.

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  4. Hi, Connie. I read your article. Thanks for pointing me to that--good article. Your idea of dying out "completely" to self is good, but it is pretty subjective. What is "complete?" Do you think it is a daily thing? Is there ever a time when we can know that we are "completely" sold out--and have completely died out? You have some good thoughts. Let me know what you think.

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  5. Jon
    I thank God for your insight. I love your article.
    I think there is a great fear of grace, especially in certain fundamental circles. What people fear they ridicule out of fear. We have heard the term "greasy grace". To me that is a slap in the face of all Jesus did for us. There is no such thing as greasy grace, and for those who believe that there is have fallen from grace. To understand grace you have to understand the atonement and to understand the atonement you have to have some degree of understanding of things eternal. Understanding of things eternal can only come by revelation given by the Holy Spirit which requires walking in the Spirit. Walking in the Spirit is not something that can be legislated. Walking in the Spirit requires faith and grace. If grace is shied away from how can one walk in the Spirit? It can't be done. If one does not trust grace one does not trust God or his provision of salvation. It's an endless cycle. When man throws away grace man becomes religious. When man becomes religious bad things start to happen.

    Don Schmoll

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